by Joseph Alvin Peña
It is almost inevitable for parents who send their kids to school to face this problem. At some point, children may feel that they do not want to go to school, and this could be because of a number of reasons. In my practice as a counselor, I have dealt with this concern quite a number of times. I have observed that this concern usually is more common for students in the early education and lower grades. Usually, this occurs more commonly at the beginning of the school year or after a long holiday. I would like to share some of the strategies that have worked for my students in helping them overcome this concern. 1. Identify the Problem Correctly When I speak to students who did not want to go to school, I find that children who did not want to go to school usually came from a long and enjoyable break. They thoroughly enjoyed their time and activities they experienced during the break and they do not want it to end. This is the most common reason I encountered with my students not wanting to go to school, however this is certainly not the only one that may be the reason for their refusal. A child who goes to bed late or lacks sleep may also refuse to go to school. Children who lack sleep may also report somatic complaints such as headaches and stomachaches. Apart from this, children who experience difficulty with their lesson may be reluctant to go to school. A child who feels less successful would want to avoid failing or being embarrassed inside the classroom. One thing he may think of to avoid this scenario is to try not to come to school. Another reason why children might refuse to come to school could be the nature of his relationships he has in school. A child who is being bullied would be fearful and avoid going to school. The same is true if the student is afraid of a teacher. There could be other reasons why a student would refuse to go to school. Determining the reason behind the refusal would help you and your child’s teachers address the child's refusal. It would be helpful also to work closely with your school counselor and teachers as they may have certain information and observed behavior which could help you address your child's refusal to go to school. 2. Ask Your Child About His Feelings and Thoughts I usually talk to my students about their refusal to come to school as soon as they are referred to me by their reachers or parents. I ask the student how he feels and why he feels that way. This gives me insight on what the student is thinking and feeling at the moment of his refusal to come to school I find it helpful also to talk to the student much later after his crying spell. At this time, the student's insight on his refusal is usually deeper which allows me to address his concern in a more pointed and effective way. When speaking to your child about his refusal to come to school, it would be helpful to ask about his feelings and thoughts during the onset and also after the student expressed his refusal to come to school. 3. Talk About the Importance of Coming to School Explain to your child why he needs to come to school. When talking about the importance of coming to school, I often discuss responsibility and equate his attendance to school with the need of his parents to report for work. The student and I also discuss the things that he could learn in school. We also talk about the fun things we would do within the day, such as the games and activities to be expected in the classroom within the day. These help the student look forward to the activities for the day and see his time in school as pleasurable and productive. It would be very important to take into consideration the feelings that your child has reported as you speak to him. This should set the tone of your conversation and the approach you would employ in your discussion. 4. Establish a Morning Routine Routines in the morning help children see patterns and know what is to be expected every morning. It would be helpful if you discuss this the night before and come into an agreement on what is to be done in the morning. If the child acts up and refuses to go to school, remind him of what was discussed the night before and gently insist on following the plan. If your child refuses to go to school in the morning, you may talk to him at night and ask about his reason for refusing to come to school. This would be the time as well to reiterate the reminders and to get his consent to follow the routine the following morning. 5. Work Closely With Your Counselor and Teachers It would be helpful to enlist the help of your child's teachers and counselor. They can reiterate the reminders that you give at home. They can also provide you with information that would be helpful in addressing your child's refusal to come to school. Eventually, children's refusal to go to school will pass. It may take longer for some children, but they eventually see school for what it is when the reason for refusal is addressed accordingly. They realize that it is a place where their minds will be challenged and their hearts will be filled with joy with all the many activities and relationships they build while they are in school.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
FYG TEAMThe team is composed of Guidance Counselors dedicated to the formation of students. Archives
July 2017
Categories |